mmmhhhh...........

neither the incentive to stay awake nor to fall asleep..

the expression °being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea° describes it pretty well.

confusing o___O

good night to everyone else

Sometimes...

... I wish something bad would happen. Just to disappear completely.

... or at least, everyone around me should just forget they'd ever met me and live like I'd never existed.

Just fading out of everyone's life.

Beautiful, peaceful, calming thought.

Just sometimes...

thoughts

the house is empty. just me and the cuddly pets.

I should make some tea. water some plants. and maybe tidy up my room.

listening to music and dancing right now.

when there's no one, I can be myself. be dreamy, be silent, be loud, be sexy...

nobody watches, but you imagine some, who could watch you, who you want to be watched by.. imagine their reactions, their thoughts.

it makes me so aware of who I am. it enhances my femininity. I love that..

it's the best feeling a woman can have, when she feels feminine and lovely.

and never forget to eat some chocolate!

lonesome curlicue leaves some feminine greetings ^.^

Are you fond of walking?

let's see into the mirror of walking

find a new lace in your way

as conditions change

you have to choose

have to follow either your heart or your conscience

say me which lace I should lose

can't hold them all together

but it's merely a matter of time

so change in the storm of it

but never let it weigh you down

so say... are you fond of walking?

drowning...

in thoughts...

or just tears lulling me to sleep

confused and out of mind

when things are disturbed, you ask yourself when they started to be so...

then you remember they always were..

no cause for concern.





seems like a nice quotation:

"I don’t love you I'm just passing the time
You could love me if I knew how to lie
But who could love me?
I am out of my mind
Throwing a line out to sea
To see if I can catch a dream"

Panic! at the Disco "She had the world"

panting, kissing, biting

your arms surround my slender waist

never stop

your hands move my heated body easily

hold me tight

your fingers feel the vibrant blood in my veins

never release me

your mouth caress my skin

devour me



dreams, night, moon.... so disturbing

murky.

what's wrong with me lately?
why are my feelings fucking me up so badly?
i'd really like to swallow a pill, that turns off emotions...
cause they're lying
they aren't emotions
they're just reactions of the body to survive or just feel good...
but i don't feel good
i'm kinda pissed off
it's a cruel state, when you can't trust yourself
and a crueler state to have to think all the time about it...
don't want anymore

i'm going to sleep and welcome the next day called asshole

curlicue

it's all about phases..

it's all about phases.. the whole life... bad phases, good phases.. they come and go... one can't change.. sometimes i would love to keep some phase forever and sometimes i fear i could struck in some phase forever... but me changes...

"just live your life", says the little heart...
"it isn't that easy", says the little sanity........ yes, it isn't...

sometimes i feel like wanting to rip out this little heart full of insecurity and smash this overworked brain into pieces, so it won't ever think again..
please, help me out of this labyrinth of thoughts... i hope it is just a phase, so it'll come better times.. but i can't see the ending... just these grey hedges, i'm wandering about... lead me out of this.. i can't walk anymore..

i lost the thread...
i should stop telling some confusing thoughts, anyway.. who matters? you're alone in this world, it's just you and your thoughts... but i know this isn't really true.. maybe in one way but not in the other one... like always, this little war between the two.. silly heart... silly brain... making me become insane...
please, retrieve this little straying heart and this confused sanity, i don't want to struck any longer in this phase..

just love you and rely on you.. cause you say it'll come better times..

"A time for everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. 9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no-one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live."
(ecclesiastes 3)

<3 curlicue --> in thoughts.. like always